A Beginner's Guide to Male Chastity

"If you can't control your cock, don't worry. I'll do it for you."

Welcome to the world of male chastity... a kinky world where pleasure is denied and control is handed over willingly. If you’re reading this, chances are you’re either curious about locking up your own cock… or you’ve got a submissive pet who needs a little discipline between their legs.

Either way, you’ve come to the right place... for our chastity escorts know all there is to know about this naughty practice. Chastity might seem vague at first, but once you understand it, it’s one of the most powerful kinks in the Femdom world. From choosing the perfect chastity belt to learning how to measure for a chastity cage, this guide will show you how to make denial just as satisfying as release.

Contents:

• What Does Chastity Mean?
• Why Mistresses Love Male Chastity
• Why Submissive Men Love Chastity
• What Is a Chastity Cage?
• Types of Chastity Cages
• How to Put on a Chastity Cage
• How to Measure for a Chastity Cage
• How to Make a Chastity Cage (DIY Chastity)
• Ready to Lock It Up?

What Does Chastity Mean?

At its core, chastity means giving up control... not just of your orgasms, but of your autonomy.

In kink and BDSM, male chastity involves surrendering your right to touch, stroke, or even get hard without permission. That control is usually handed over to a keyholder — often a Dominatrix — who decides if, when, and how you’re allowed to feel pleasure.

But it goes deeper than simply locking up a cock. Chastity is about obedience, discipline, and delayed gratification. It creates a mental shift where the submissive learns to live for his Domme’s satisfaction, not his own. 

“Some of my boys say they wear a cage for themselves… but I know the truth. Really, they wear it for me. It keeps them focused. Humble. Desperate. And I love them like that.” - Mistress Ella

Visit Mistress Ella's profile to browse her gallery. 

Want to understand more about the psychology of submission? Read our blog on why people love being dominated.

 

Why Mistresses Love Male Chastity

Chastity is as much a training tool as it is a kink. For a Dominatrix, the cage is a physical representation of control. It strips a man of his default source of power — his cock — and hands that power over to her. She decides when he’s allowed to feel, touch, or cum… if at all.

It makes him more obedient. More attentive. More eager to please. When a sub is locked up, he’s no longer thinking about his own orgasm — he’s thinking about how to earn her attention, her approval, and maybe, if he’s lucky, a little mercy.

It also eliminates the distractions of porn, edging, or mindless wanking. All that energy is redirected into worship, service, and submission. For a keyholder, that’s pure gold. This way, she can shape him into something better: a cockless, focused, desperate little pet who lives to serve.

Want to become a better submissive overall? Don’t miss our guide on how to serve your mistress.

 

Why Submissive Men Love Chastity

If chastity is new to you, we get why you might think that the service sounds like hell. No orgasms? No touching? Locked in a cage for hours - or days? And yet, thousands of men are begging for it. Literally. So, what gives?

For many submissive men, chastity gives them purpose. Being locked gives them structure, discipline, and a clear role: to serve, to obey, and to earn the right to be used. The cage becomes a symbol of submission. Of surrender. Of belonging to someone stronger.

There’s also a psychological thrill to it — the constant ache, the teasing, the knowledge that your pleasure is no longer yours. That frustration builds intimacy, which in turn builds obsession. Some subs even report more intense orgasms (when they’re finally allowed one), better focus, and stronger emotional bonds with their keyholder.

And let’s be honest: many men are tired of meaningless wanks and short-lived dopamine hits. Chastity forces you to slow things way down. To crave. To serve. And for the right sub, more time to crave and serve is everything they could ever dream of.

“They think they want to cum. But what they really want is permission to want it. Not just that, but the longer they have to wait, the better that climax is. I've seen men literally shaking by the time they finish. It's pretty hot.” - Mistress Taylor

Care to see more of the ravishing beauty mentioned above? Visit Mistress Taylor's profile and browse her full gallery. 

If you're brand new to the world of BDSM, here's everything you need to know about being dominated for the first time. 

 

What Is a Chastity Cage (& How Does It Work)?

As you might have guessed, a chastity cage is a device designed to prevent erections and stop a man from pleasuring himself. It’s worn over the penis and secured in place with a locking ring behind the balls. Once locked, there’s no stroking, no grinding, and no release — unless your keyholder says otherwise.

The cage itself can be made of plastic, metal, or silicone and is typically lightweight enough to be worn under clothing throughout the day. It works by physically restricting the shaft, making erections either uncomfortable or impossible. It doesn’t hurt—not unless you’re trying to force something that isn’t allowed—but it does remind the wearer who’s in control, every single time arousal strikes.

Want to add another layer of control? Pair chastity with bondage play for the ultimate restriction experience.

 

Types of Chastity Cages (& Which One to Choose)

Choosing the right chastity device can feel overwhelming — especially when your cock's on the line. So let’s break it down. Each material has its pros, cons, and ideal uses.

Here's how to pick the perfect cage for your denial journey:

• Plastic Cages: Lightweight, affordable, and ideal for beginners. These are often used for short-term play or discreet wear in public. They're also travel-friendly (yes, some can even pass through airport security).
• Metal Cages: Heavier, more durable, and undeniably intimidating. These are great for long-term use and serious subs. Metal offers less flexibility, but far more psychological weight.
• Silicone Cages: Soft, flexible, and slightly more forgiving (just a little). These are excellent for comfort or extended wear, though not always the most escape-proof for determined subs.
• Custom-Fitted Cages: For the serious and committed. These devices are made to your exact measurements, offering maximum security, comfort, and longevity. If you’re going to be locked for long periods of time… it’s worth the investment.

Every submissive has different anatomy and tolerance levels, so don’t be afraid to try a few before settling down — your cock will thank you (eventually).

For more control-based kinks to explore, check out our list of fetishes we bet you've never heard of. 

 

How to Put on a Chastity Cage

Putting on a chastity cage for the first time can feel like trying to solve a kinky puzzle — but once you know what goes where, it becomes second nature. All you have to do is take your time, stay soft, and keep the lube nearby.

Step-by-Step Guide:

1. Start soft: The cage won’t go on if you’re hard. So breathe, relax, and think about taxes if you have to.
2. Slide the ring on first: One ball at a time, then the shaft. This is the base ring that holds everything together, so make sure it’s the right size — snug but not pinching.
3. Apply lube: A little water-based lubricant around the head and shaft can help reduce friction and make things more comfortable.
4. Attach the cage section: Carefully slide the cage over your penis until it’s fully in place and aligned with the base ring.
5. Insert the locking pin and secure the device: Most cages use a pin and padlock or integrated lock. Make sure it’s all lined up before locking it shut — there’s no shame in taking a few tries.

Once you're locked in, stand, sit, and walk around for a few minutes to make sure there’s no pinching, rubbing, or discomfort. If there is — take it off, adjust, and try again. Rushing into chastity is the quickest way to ruin the experience.

“Don’t rush the process. I always tell my boys: if you can’t take your time putting it on, you won’t survive keeping it on. The last thing you want is to disappoint your mistress and ask to have it removed too soon, all because you're feeling a little uncomfortable. Pathetic.” - Mistress Loren 

Can't wait to tease a locked sub to the brink of insanity? Before you do, read our guide to safe BDSM explorations.

 

How to Measure for a Chastity Cage

If your cage doesn’t fit properly, your chastity experience is going to be more painful than pleasurable — and not in a good way. Here's how to get it right:

1. Measure Ring Size:

The ring sits behind your balls and shaft, so it needs to be snug but not constricting. Use a tailor’s measuring tape to wrap around the base of your penis and scrotum. This will give you the inner circumference. Most standard ring sizes range between 40mm and 50mm.

2. Measure Flaccid Length:

While fully soft, measure from the base of your penis (just in front of the balls) to the tip. Subtract a few millimetres to avoid pinching or bulging. The cage should hold you securely, not let you rattle around in there.

3. Check Gap Spacing:

This is the space between the cage and the base ring where your skin and balls rest. It should allow airflow and avoid chafing, but also prevent slipping. Most high-quality cages allow you to adjust this slightly with different spacers or pins.

And always — always — measure multiple times. The temperature, time of day, and how turned on you are can all affect your size. Measuring when cool, calm, and soft gives the most accurate result.

Want more insight into the physical side of BDSM? Read our spanking guide and learn how to take (and deliver) impact like a pro.

 

How to Make a Chastity Cage (DIY Chastity)

We always recommend buying a professional-grade chastity cage, especially for anything beyond a single play session. But if you’re experimenting or just feeling adventurous, there are a few DIY options, though they come with serious caveats.

Temporary (and risky) DIY options include:

• Zip ties: Cheap, painful, and dangerous if overtightened. Only for absolute emergencies or quick humiliation scenes. Never for long-term wear.
• Plastic bottles or tubing: Some crafty subs cut small sections of PVC or water bottles to fit over the shaft, then secure it to a cock ring or ball stretcher. Again, not secure and definitely not breathable.
• Stainless steel DIY builds: For the metalworkers out there, it's possible to weld your own custom-fit cage — but if you’re going this far, you'd be better off investing in a real device made by professionals who know how to protect nerves and blood flow.

Ultimately, chastity isn’t something to half-ass. If you’re going to give up your pleasure, do it properly. Invest in something that’s safe, secure, and made for your body. Your cock deserves more than a Coke bottle and a prayer.

For more domination tools worth buying, read our blog on the best BDSM stores in London.

 

Ready to Lock It Up?

Curious? Desperate? Already throbbing at the thought of being denied? Then chastity might just be your new obsession. And our London mistresses know exactly how to tease, train, and torment you — whether you're locked for an hour or a month.

To book your session, simply fill out our online form or call us on 0780 913 8166. Just don’t expect to be unlocked anytime soon… unless you’ve earned it.

New to domination? Check out our filthy and fun beginner’s guide to domination services and start your journey off right.